As soon as you complete reading it, the novel is capable of
making you ponder whether you have really read a good work or have wasted your
time. That much is pretty sure. A bit of
thought and you will soon be rewarded with the fruits for investing your time.
This is my first of Julian’s works. If I had read his other
works, it would have given me an idea (or at least hinted) of what he really
wants or might be aiming at. I don’t have a clue about his previous works and
so I had my own limitations. Assuming that every word and sentence in the novel
was written with a purpose, I write this essay.
With the above assumption, we can safely assume that the
title must have been very well thought of. Otherwise there is no point in further
discussion as most of the sentences in the novel are ‘reversible’ or has got
multiple meanings which have the strength to make the reader land up with a
completely different perspective. So we ought to be careful enough to not miss
the intended point when reading it.
“The Sense of an
Ending”. So, with the title, author
hints that it is not the correct/factual/realistic end but “the sense” of an
Ending as perceived/interpreted/framed by the protagonist’s psyche to suit his
needs. The 1st person narrative justifies “the sense”. All we have
to do is understand his psyche to land up with the realistic/factual story (‘Some approximate memories which time has
deformed in to certainty. If I can’t be sure of the actual events anymore, I
can at least be true to the impressions those feels left. That’s the best I can
manage’ Page No 4).
Here goes my understanding. Tony and Veronica love each
other and the child is theirs (Tony is not aware of that). But owing to their
respective weakness (veronica doesn’t express. Tony is insecure. Adrian’s entry
into their life complicates it further), the relationship comes to an abrupt
end. Veronica’s dad is a drunkard and
must have shaped Veronica’s mom’s character. Adrian has an affair or probably
is in good terms with Veronica’s mother. Adrian is so influenced with his own suicidal
philosophy that he had to go for a real experience to feel it close. Below is
my explanation for these conclusions.
The novel is divided in to 2 parts, both in the first person
narrative. Part 1 doesn’t involve any facts (letter, mail etc) and is merely a
narration by Tony in a way he remembers it. Part 2 hints at other side of
Tony’s character (in a way real) with factual information (mail, letter, dairy
etc) which inevitably shocks Tony equally like the reader. Some sentences occasionally
are stressed probably as a hint for the reader.
Let us explore it further. The following may clearly be
observed from the 1st part (from his psyche).
- Tony is very insecure. It is more so when it is the case with Veronica (her high class family and high class taste).
- Tony is impressed, influenced and at the same time is jealous of Adrian. Adrian is what Tony wishes to be. (Almost all his childhood memories included Adrian. Never was the stress on his other two friends.)
- Tony feels extremely jealous whenever Veronica is comfortable with another guy (Adrian’s case is pretty evident).
- Adrian’s admission to Veronica’s brother’s college (clearly a ‘high class’ gateway to strengthen Veronica’s and Adrian’s bond further in Tony’s mind fuelled already by insecurity.)
- All his friends are impressed with Veronica but Tony’s mind is more interested in Ardian’s impression. This is the starting point for sowing the seeds of love between Adrian and Veronica in Tony’s mind from which he would never be able to come out till the end. In Tony’s psychic creation, Veronica’s sexual resistance (which probably is because of his lack of high class status according to Tony) is the main reason to attribute her to Adrian as he feels she finds in Adrian all the features lacking in him.)
From both the parts, we can safely
predict that Veronica is genuinely in love with Tony. (Justified from the
frequently occurring sentence “You still
don't get it. You never did, and you never will. So stop even trying.” Repetition
of the sentence is also a hint that it truly must have happened but is not a
creation by Tony). So, do Tony is in love with Veronica. Otherwise why would he
be so jealous? On the other hand, her sexual
resistance hurts his male ego and makes him feel insecure which in turn makes
him assume that she is trading him for a better guy Adrian. Thus Veronica had
to sound so bad in the novel.
Veronica’s comfort with Adrian
(during the meeting with his friends) coupled with his weekend experience at
her home (lower class scum) makes him feel more insecure. Soon, a psychic
creation develops which sows the seeds of love between Adrian and Veronica. (The
high class tastes of Veronica and Adrian). He assumes that Adrian is a better
match for her.
Veronica’s behavior on the other
hand may be attributed to her own definition of True Love and its relationship
with virginity. (Novel gives some clues in the form of her alcoholic dad, her
mother sheltering young men though she is not in need of money. Her mother is
definitely up to something. She seduced Tony and must definitely have had a
relationship with Adrian). So, conditions at her own house may have frustrated Veronica
and so she must have been in search of a meaningful relationship which tends to
focus less on the core aspects of sex. However, Tony owing to his jealousy must
have acted weirdly with her either knowingly or unknowingly (He is surely
capable of. Remember the hatred letter he wrote. He is peaceable, understanding
in the 1st part as he feels him so and remembers him so but he is not.
This apart most of the faults in the narration are with the other characters
particularly Veronica). These changes might have been noticed by Veronica who
must have assumed that she would be going to lose him if she doesn’t sleep with
him. Tony on the other hand, misunderstands the sex after breakup assuming it
to be a pretext to get close to Adrian.
We do not know much about Adrian’s
back ground except that his mother had left his dad. This back ground must have forced him or
motivated him to be with Veronica’s mother (His missing mother relation) who
had been waiting for it. All we can speculate about his relationship with
Veronica is that he must have been impressed with Veronica in his first meet
with her. Later on he had been a frequent visitor to her house (Veronica’s
brother is now his senior at college) and must had been a friend of her family.
Tony’s ugly letter must have had given him glimpses of the other side of
Sarah’s character and he must have been in a relationship with her. Sarah also
must have been soothed very much by Adrian’s presence and must have felt very
thankful to Tony. Adrian who had the ability to foresee the events as they had
happened must have told Sarah about Tony and Veronica. And hence the “blood
money” to Tony in her will (dairy is also obvious now). All the human equations
(V for veronica, b for baby, a1 for Adrian, a1 for Anthony etc) are
philosophical speculations of Adrian which may give us some clue about various
relationships but can be ignored from the story point of view as we are more
concerned with the letter’s effect on Tony (We need to know Adrian more if we
need to interpret his philosophical human equations). Tony’s conclusion that
the baby is Adrian’s is because of his prejudiced notions about Adrian and
Veronica which had guided him in wrong direction right from beginning.
This is what I could make out from
the work. I may be wrong. But I feel
this view answers most of the questions. At least this gives me a “Sense of Correct
Judgment” J The novel is definitely capable of giving you
that sense. Read the novel as if you are an investigating officer listening to
the version of the guilty occasionally letting him know the truth you know (mail,
document etc in the novel). You are sure to experience the master mind behind
the narration. Personally, I liked the novel for making the protagonist sound negative.
1st person narrative rarely makes the protagonist appear bad. I
never thought that my review would be so long. Thank Julian for making it possible
J
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